Why do you think adolescence is a difficult time for many people? What can be done to make the transition through adolescents easier?
Adolescence is difficult for many because of multiple factors including: transitioning from childhood, establishing persona, lack of initiation, and lack of responsibility. Let me elaborate…
TRANSITIONING FROM CHILDHOOD
The teen years represent a transition from childhood to adulthood. Frankly all transitions are hard whether it is moving and getting a new job. But this transition is particularly hard with ambiguous expectations and roles straddling childhood and adulthood. Part of this includes having more responsibility and independence while also having more restrictions than adults. Teens are expected to figure things out, cook for themselves and hold themselves to a different standard than their younger selves.
ESTABLISHING PERSONA
We are all born with a certain temperament. But childhood is often marked by pure often-shameless authenticity. Whereas adolescence we develop our persona; in other words our outward identity and mask of which we present to the world and eventually believe we are. This mask is an attempt to get needs met. For some people, misbehaving satisfies their need for attention and thrill, for others being quiet and inward might satisfy a need for peace and space. And for yet others, accomplishing things may satisfy the need for recognition. Or being a class clown develops social clout. Or being a “jock”. Or being a “nerd”. etc etc etc.
Adolescence is often marked by trying on different masks to see what fits. But this is akin to a hermit crab leaving one shell for the next. They are very vulnerable as a result.
Similarly, many teens know that the outward mask they present is mostly an act in order to gain social points and get needs met. Unfortunately most people start to believe they are their persona and forget their authentic ways which is why self-help books frequently talk about connecting to your inner child.
LACK OF INITIATION
In different cultures and in different eras, people were initiated into adulthood. Which is something not frequently done in our modern western culture. This lack of initiation may also contribute to the difficulties. These initiations and ceremonies serve as a container for emotions and spirituality. They give meaning and support to the transition. They also reduce the ambiguity to the question “Am I an adult?” (The Mexican quinceañera, Jewish bar mitzvah and Amish rumspringa are examples in the modern USA).
When people are are recognized as an “official” adult, I believe they rise to meet the expectations of adulthood. Whereas when we treat teens as “big-kids” there is a very low bar for these people to grow into. Which leads me to the next reason…
LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY
When the Lewis and Clark expedition had to stay in camp for months at a time, they put all the men to work – even if it was somewhat unnecessary – to keep them from going stir-crazy and getting into trouble.
Think of a puppy or adolescent dog. If we exercise them well every day, they will behave better and be happier. When teens have responsibility, projects, jobs, purpose, creative outlets and meaning of which they can pour themselves into, then they will have better mental health as a result. That is not say they should be forced into a bunch of extracurricular activities and camps. And this is not a condemnation of boredom of which I think is VERY valuable. But rather I believe we ought to encourage and support young people to explore their natural passions.
MULTI-GENERATIONAL IMMERSION
Kids are segregated at school and at home in their grade level and at the “kids” table. I believe the ageist segregation causes a feeling of disconnection. When young people are well integrated with wisdom of older people we have a better culture with more well adjusted individuals. Older people serve as mentors even if just through young people observing the natural ways of elders. Young people are better supported by older people who tend to have less ulterior-motives and have better intentions than fellow young peers.
QUESTION:
How can we better integrate young and old people?
What are some ways to “initiate” a person into adulthood in our modern era?
What kind of responsibilities should we NOT give teens (if any)?
How do we encourage young people to explore their passions?